Sleep Training Twins – How to Stay Calm and Be a Nurturing Parent

Becoming a parent to twins can be both rewarding and overwhelming, especially when it comes to sleep training. With two little ones on different schedules, exhaustion may become the norm. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In this post, we’ll explore tips to help you sleep train your twins, stay calm, and nurture them, while also giving yourself the chance to rest. Because let’s face it, when your babies sleep well, you can too!

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Why Sleep Training Twins Is Different

Unlike a single baby, twin parents face the challenge of managing two sleep patterns, two cries, and two needs at the same time. However, it’s possible to get both babies on a similar sleep schedule, which can help minimize stress and give you those precious pockets of downtime. Consistency is key, but it’s also essential to stay calm and flexible along the way.

1. Establish a Routine Early

One of the first steps in sleep training is establishing a consistent routine for both babies. A solid bedtime routine signals to your twins that it’s time to wind down for the night. This can include:

• A warm bath
• Gentle baby massage
• A soothing lullaby or story
• Dimming the lights

By sticking to this routine, your babies will begin to associate these activities with sleep, making it easier for them to relax and eventually fall asleep simultaneously.

2. Get Twins on the Same Sleep Schedule

Synchronizing your twins’ sleep schedules is crucial if you want to find some rest yourself.

Here’s how to do it:

• Feed both babies at the same time: Whether breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, or a mix of both, feeding twins together can help regulate their hunger patterns, leading to synchronized naps and bedtimes.
• Wake one if the other wakes: If one baby wakes up, gently rouse the other. Over time, this can help them nap and sleep in sync.
• Gradually adjust to the same bedtime: If one twin tends to fall asleep earlier or later than the other, slowly adjust their bedtime by 10-15 minutes each night until they are going to sleep at the same time.

3. Stay Calm in the Chaos

Sleep training twins can be a challenge, but it’s essential to maintain your calm. Babies pick up on their parents’ stress, and staying calm will help them feel more secure. Here are some tips to help keep your cool:

• Take deep breaths: When you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to breathe deeply and reset. Deep breathing can lower stress levels and help you approach your babies with a nurturing mindset.
• Step away: If you find yourself boiling over, it’s okay to set babies in a safe place and step away for a moment into another room to take a break and compose yourself.
• Listen to music: If the sound of your babies crying is triggering you, try putting in your airpods and listening to music or a podcast to stifle the noise slightly, you can still hear your babies and are still paying attention to them, but the background noise helps take the edge off.
• Divide and conquer: If you have a partner, take turns soothing and caring for the babies. This will give each of you a chance to recharge.
• Give yourself grace: It’s okay to feel frustrated or tired. Acknowledge those feelings, but try not to dwell on them. Sleep training is a process, and no one gets it perfect from the start.

4. Be Nurturing, Not Perfect

It’s easy to put pressure on yourself to be the perfect parent, especially when sleep is hard to come by. But your babies don’t need perfection; they need love, patience, and understanding. Here’s how to stay nurturing:

• Listen to your instincts: No one knows your babies better than you do. Trust your gut when it comes to comforting them.
• Provide lots of cuddles: Physical touch is incredibly soothing for babies. Holding your twins and responding to their needs will help them feel safe, even if sleep training takes time.
• Rest when they rest: As tempting as it might be to get things done while they sleep, your rest is just as important. Taking time to recharge will help you feel more capable and present for your babies.

5. Get Support

You don’t have to do this alone. Surround yourself with supportive people—whether it’s a partner, family member, or a friend. There are also resources like sleep consultants or twin parenting groups that can offer guidance and encouragement. You can join ours by clicking here.

For more insights on how to become the nurturing parent you want to be, even through sleepless nights, check out this post from Loving Lessons Learned: Sleepless and Overwhelming Beginnings: Becoming the Parent I Wanted to Be.

Over the last 10 years, Irene has become the go to Sleep Doula, trained as a Sleep Coach, Postpartum Doula, and Infant Feeding specialist. She provides support, education, and coaching for the bedtime battles that leave parents sleep deprived, overwhelmed and anxious.   

If you or any parents you know have tried everything, her Sleep Coaching Success Programs simplifies sleep and helps parents of children 6 and younger become rested, calm, and confident. For more information, email Irene at [email protected] or set up a time on her calendar at www.LovingLessonsLearned.com

Final Thoughts

Sleep training twins is a unique challenge, but it’s possible to succeed with patience, consistency, and a calm, nurturing approach. By establishing routines and synchronizing their sleep schedules, you’ll be on the road to more restful nights—for both your babies and yourself. Stay kind to yourself through the process, and remember, you are doing an amazing job!

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